You remind me of you.

chapped nose

2009-12-16T06:35:48Z

My bronchitis is back and has left me not only without a voice, but wanting to do nothing other than lay in bed and watch TV-on-DVD all week. Not that I do much else when I am perfectly healthy. I've tried to stay off medicine as much as possible, but last night I was coughing so profusely I couldn't get to sleep so I took some of the cough syrup they gave me when I had Swine Flu over the summer. I accidentally took about 6x the prescribed amount and ended up pretty high, which was not fun at all.

Friday was the annual Rulien Girls' Cookie Day, which I scampered to right after a study session with a boy from my math class. Sometimes I try to picture my school life as though I am in the television show Community. More often than not, it is a complete failure.

Sunday and Monday I photographed Baby Tyler. The pictures came out well enough. I wasn't entirely happy with them, but Lisa seemed to really like them, so I suppose that's all that matters.
Also, along photography-related news, a girl from Paxon contacted me this evening and wanted to know if they could use my football shots in the Yearbook. Flashback 2005-2007. I am not getting paid, of course, but I am being credited this time, which is nice.

Tomorrow I finish up this semester with a entirely intimidating final exam in my Stat class. As long as I manage a 68% I should be able to get a B in the class. I have As in my other two courses, which was exciting (albeit expected).

My 21st is a week from Saturday and I haven't a clue as to what I want to do for my birthday. I was kind of counting on Rick to come up with something, but we haven't spoken in two weeks, so I'm just rather sluggish about coming up with anything at all. I feel like I SHOULD do something, but I'm not particularly partial toward anything really.

This update was dull. I will try to do better next time.

Christmas Child

2009-12-10T01:51:09Z

This month, I have paired with Compassion International in the "What I Want for Christmas" program--to help find a child a sponsor by December 31.

This is Roby Noverdikson Hia. He lives in Indonesia and was born November 26, 2001 (which makes him 8 years old). He is in school where his performance is above average. Soccer, playing with cars, and art are his favourite activities.

I have committed to pray for Roby each day and will, hopefully, be able to introduce him to his new sponsor before the end of the year.

Through Compassion International, children living in poverty all over the world are aided. A minimum of 80% of all Compassion's ministry expenditures are used on programs serving children. I've written about my work with Compassion International on several occasions in this blog and this cause is something I am incredibly passionate about. I have had Katei, my six-year-old Compassion child, for a little over a year now and I would never have imagined the connection I would feel with a child who lives oceans away. We exchange letters and, earlier this year, I was fortunate enough to have the chance to visit him (as well as a friend's Compassion Child, Ivonne) when I was doing work in Kenya. It was probably the most memorable moment of my life, to date. It was amazing to see the tangible aspects of this sponsorship. Katei has become a part of my family.

As a unemployed college student, I can understand the financial burden even one more monthly bill can bring. But it is miraculous how the Lord DOES provide. For $38 a month you will be helping Compassion focus on Roby's individual developmental needs, while also considering the needs of his family and community. You will be his only sponsor.

Please prayerfully consider sponsoring Roby this Chrismas. You will make a fantastic difference in his life, and (as cliched as it might sound) I guarantee you will get as much from this sponsorship as he will.

Contact me if you have ANY interest at all in sponsoring Roby, or any Compassion child. I would love to answer any questions you have.
I can be reached through comment on this blog, facebook, or email at crulien@hotmail.com

On Restaurant City:

2009-12-07T08:53:29Z

girlinalibrary: who are these guys with the red circles around them and real names?
againsttheflood: your 'friends'
againsttheflood: anyone on your friends list can show up
girlinalibrary: well, nick just gave me a "thumbs down"
girlinalibrary: ironic
againsttheflood: APPROPRIATE

MY LIFE IS A SEA OF TROLLS

2009-12-05T00:25:30Z

To quote Liz Lemon, "I just wish I could start a relationship about 12 years in where you don’t really have to try anymore and you can just sit around together and goof on TV shows and go to bed without anybody trying any funny business."

I just went grocery shopping and it was one of the most depressing experiences of my life. All of these couples were there shopping together and I was on my own, in the Lean Cuisine dinner aisle. And tonight I have to sleep alone in my full-sized bed. I agree with what Kea used to say, my bed is too big, and too sad, as well. Rick said that I should sleep diagonally so that even if I had someone to share it with, they would not be able to fit. I am beginning to realise how very much my relationships with David and Joel screwed me UP. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I have wanted to be single!! And now I am regretting it! I also want this semester to be over.

prognosis

2009-12-04T15:14:40Z

They cast Charlize Theron as Dagney in the Atlas Shrugged film.

I CALLED IT THREE YEARS AGO.

kthxgiving

2009-12-04T01:39:31Z

I have seriously thought of so very little to update about over the past week. I am doing terrible at the guitar, which I blame on being left-handed. My Thanksgiving was good, but nothing inordinately different from any other normal Thanksgiving. I took family photos and that was hectic. My cousin, Shannon, got engaged the weekend after Thanksgiving (at the Florida/Florida State game, no less), but we're not incredibly close, so, while I am quite happy for her, it wasn't particularly thrilling. I found out over Facebook. It does, however, make me the last Rulien girl to be single--which is always means for goading in my intensely Catholic family.

Regarding the new friends I have acquired: It has been rather nice to be an outsider and see how everyone interacts. I enjoy studying personality types and it has been interesting to see the group dynamics of these new people.

I've really enjoyed getting to know all of them. I was in desperate need of a new group to associate with and am beginning to feel slightly out of the rut I've been pacing in for the past, well, months and months. We've spent time together almost daily for the past two weeks.
To be honest, though, more often than not I prefer to just stay in. I'd much rather spend time with one other person than a huge group--and I am more partial to coming home and spending the evening at a home than going out. The alternatives are also nice, but in moderation.

I did meet up with an old friend this afternoon for coffee at the Towncenter. John B! I hadn't spoken with him much since the summer after graduation (circa the days of The Great Train Robbery/David) and it was ridiculously nice to catch up. He was one of my best friends Senior year.

Last night, Rick and I watched Boondock Saints (which I love) and then went to see Boondock Saints II at the cinema. By far the worst movie I have ever, ever seen. I have never before walked out of a movie and I had to leave Rick and take a walk for a good half-hour of it. It was so bad. SO bad.

Otherwise, the majority of this week has been spent screen printing. I made my own screen and it all turned out a ridiculous success--for something less than $40, too. I'm really enjoying it. Between this, crocheting, and photography, I will be making all the Christmas gifts this year. I have zeroed out my bank account again.

I am processing through some other things, but I haven't come to any conclusions worth writing down at the moment. However, something that I've been thinking about a lot lately: If we are afraid of the conflict we will not change.

Recently

2009-11-25T04:18:00Z

I have been making new friends, Livejournal.

speakerphone

2009-11-23T06:30:00Z

This has been quite a music-intense day. I played guitar for an hour or so this afternoon and then dallied along on the piano for some time after. Rick and I went to the cinema to see Pirate Radio. I expected to be brilliant. It was. I will probably go to see it again, in fact.

My goodness, just go see that film, livejournal friends.

My mum and I went to Target and bought a massive amount of new things for my room. I will probably assemble it all tonight rather than sleeping.

Activities of this eventful week: Tomorrow, I have class, guitar, and I need to go to the craft store for some art stuff. Tuesday, I get to see the elusive Sandra Haltiwanger and then I am going to see The Blind Side with some new friends. Wednesday is class. Thursday and Friday are Thanksgivings #1 and #2. Saturday I am going to a few friends' show.
Oy, let the holidays begin.

Christian politics

2009-11-21T02:17:45Z

It wasn’t the leading story in The New York Times, The Washington Post, or most other daily newspapers. I didn’t see a mention of it on the morning news shows either. Here’s what you might have missed: The newest Census Bureau report shows that 2.5 million more people joined the ranks of the poor in the U.S. in 2008 — from 37.3 million to 39.8 million. That’s the highest number of people in poverty since 1997. The number of children in poverty grew from 13.3 million to 14.1 million — nearly 1 in 5 children.
Unemployment is at a 26-year high; meaning these statistics are bound to look considerably worse next year.

So what do we do? If we are serious about our scriptures, it is the biggest news story for us today — whether or not it made the front pages. And it is the lens through which all of the issues we are concerned about today should be viewed.

In our public discourse, when we worry about “socialized” medicine coming to the U.S. and dealing a death blow to our freedoms, let us remember that we already have “socialized” medicine for military personnel, veterans, Native Americans, everyone over 65, and the poor. Part of the problem with our system is that it is not a unified system, and there is no equality built into it. And to think that the emergency room answers the problem is also deeply mistaken. In fact, the Los Angeles Times published an article earlier this week that stated, "The risk of dying from traumatic injuries is 80% higher for those without any insurance." EIGHTY-percent. [link]

The task is far larger than just getting a bill to be approved by the majority. It involves teaching the average guy how to get over himself and his self-centered attitude and learn how to love others and in humility consider others better than themselves. You know, only the message that got Jesus killed and that the church has failed to do for 2000 years. Nothing difficult there.

Like Jesus said, to whom much is given, much is required.

this justin

2009-11-19T21:13:30Z

My God, I'm Liz Lemon.

lol

2009-11-19T03:22:18Z

I have started watching 30 Rock from the beginning. Today, I was watching the second episode of season two and saw this hanging on Dr. Spaceman's wall:

That picture on the lower right looks a little familiar...

Check out 0:43.

I feel a little ridiculous immediately knowing where that sketch is from.

ETA: Or, as it has now been pointed out, immediately thinking of this video when the sketch was from something entirely different (and reputable--which actually makes the Leprechaun video vastly more humorous).
hahaha
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Unabomber#Search

(Ir)responsible

2009-11-18T17:02:47Z

The Leonid Meteor Shower was a few nights ago and it was beautiful, even if it did become overcast very quickly and end the evening prematurely. I laid on my driveway in flannel and pajama pants and my toes froze. I'd only ever seen one shooting star before that night.

This morning I didn't go into my current classes and instead searched for some screen printing supplies and registered for Spring classes.

Next semester I am taking:
BSC2050 - Biology of Environmental Systems
MAC1105 - College Algebra
LIT2930 - Special Topics in Literature (Literature of the Living Dead- I am REALLY excited about this one.)

I also wanted to take a cooking class. And a photography class just so I could have access to the dark room. BUT these will be my last classes before I have my A.A. so woo for that, I suppose.

What with the trips I have planned and these classes, next term should be a good one.

Posted using TxtLJ

2009-11-16T22:17:57Z

If I stopped comparing myself to everyone else, it would probably solve a majority of my problems.

having a good time with you

2009-11-15T00:52:16Z

Yesterday, I was cleaning out some old files I'd transferred from my parents' computer a found a few papers and a project I'd done for a Psychology class I, apparently, took last Fall. I do not remember taking a college Psych class. I went as far as checking my transcript and it's there, so I guess I did take it. I also took a Humanities class that semester I'd forgotten about until I reread some of the papers I'd written.

While setting up for the team meal before the Homecoming game last night, I was recruited by my mum/other team mothers to take individual photographs of the players, because apparently Cady & Cady forgot about it this season. I ended up going on-field to shoot most of the game, too. It was like I was back in high school again. The football players still don't think I'm cool. I had a good time and got some good shots.

Occasionally, I'll catch myself thinking the "correct" way to go through high school is as a cheerleader if you are a girl and as a football player if you are a boy. So some part of me feels like I failed at this and Dustin is doing much better at high school than I did. He'll probably win Homecoming King next year.

I hope he does. I am living vicariously through my brother.

I am sometimes caught up in the mindset of society's imposition of roles--not necessarily focusing on individual achievement, but the attempt to "fit in" (while appropriately standing out). In high school I was "supposed" to be a cheerleader. As an adult, I am "supposed" to find a man, get married, and have kids. It's certainly dated, but I think it's somewhat still subconsciously pushed upon girls--just in a more covert way than it may've been in the past.
It's obnoxious.

I finally scheduled (and went to) my long-awaited dermatology appointment on Thursday. She took a biopsy of some skin on my shoulder and left me with two stitches. I'd never gotten stitches before and think they're rather cute.
For your viewing pleasure I am including a picture:

My mother wanted me to go to a play with her and my grandparents tonight and Rick wanted me to hang out with a group at his house, but I have declined all invitations, instead, deciding to stay in. This is partially under the pretext of some homework I should get finished, but predominantly because I really enjoy staying at home.

The few times I appreciate facebook chat.

2009-11-10T10:14:42Z

Monica, one of the Kenyan women I worked with in Kibera, and I were chatting tonight and she sent me this:

"if you came to kenya i will jump like a massai worrior ill be happy"

I thought that was really sweet.

Kea comes to Florida (& other things)

2009-11-09T07:17:49Z

Kea came to town this weekend. It was the first time she's visited Jacksonville since she left, soon after we graduated, and it'd been over a year since I stayed with her in San Antonio. It felt the same as it did back in high school, when we saw each other every day, and that was immensely comforting. It is nice to have a girl best friend sometimes. As adamant as I am about how I can relate to guys better than most girls, there is something refreshing about having someone of the same gender to talk to about some things. Needless to say, I'd missed her.

Last night we drove to Orlando to see Dethklok play with Mastodon and Converge and the show was absolutely phenomenal. I'm not sure how much Kea enjoyed it because Metalcore isn't particularly her choice genre of music, but she didn't seem to hate it and I caught her rocking out a few times during Dethklok's set. We got caught in the center of a mosh pit during Mastodon and Kea got spooked so, once I finally found her standing back by the sound booth, we stayed there for the remainder of the set. I did get a pretty nasty bruise on the top of my foot and on my under-upper arm where a guy grabbed me to help me get out of the pit, but I really enjoyed myself.
I used Cruise Control for the very first time on the drive home and it reminded me of the time I sat in Kea's car in high school and she turned on the seat warmers and I was amazed (i.e. It was magical).

Other than the cell phone picture above, I didn't take any pictures while she was here. One convenient thing about Kea is she is, for lack of another term, a camera whore-- meaning, not only am I not required to take snapshots of our adventures, but I also get to BE in them. However, I did just find her camera in my car's glove box, so I suppose I won't have any pictures of the weekend until I send her camera to Texas.

Lisa and Jack had their baby, Tyler, Friday morning. He wasn't due until the end of November, but was a healthy 6lbs 13oz and although I haven't seen him in-person yet, Aunt Mary brought pictures to Dustin's game Friday night and he looks just like Jack.

I've been thinking about going pseudo-Vegan. Not strictly Vegan, but more Vegan-like. Though I honestly just need to work on my diet in general, because right now I'm living on carbs. I've been wanting a bike for months, but can't manage to find a good one that isn't going to cost me an arm and a leg. I've been thinking about buying a crappy 10-speed road bike and just converting it/fixing it up myself, so that's probably what I'll end up doing.

I've also decided I'll be staying at FCCJ next semester and finishing up with my Associates. I still have no idea what I'm planning on doing after that, but I think Rick and I are going back to Nashville early next year and maybe I'll go tour Western Carolina and also a few schools in Chicago, too. This means I need to get to job searching again, because I no longer have the excuse of "I'm leaving in two months anyway."

My dreams have been vivid and implausibly strange lately. In the past two nights I've had dreams about boys I know of, but have never met. They aren't the prodigal girl-dreams-about-boy dreams, but they are sweet, albeit strange because I've never been one to have dreams so detailed about boys I have never been close with in-person. I wake up happy, but also very confused.

Otherwise, I've just been that bad mix of depressed/angry/anxious where I think of every stupid thing I've done ever and it makes me feel terrible. Like, I was thinking about something stupid I said freshman year of high school and I could feel my heart rate rise and tension in my chest and it was kind of hard to breathe.

I have a guitar lesson tomorrow and realised this afternoon I hadn't opened my guitar case since I had a lesson last Monday so now I'm kind of dreading 2 o'clock tomorrow afternoon.

The days are going by so quickly.

Loon

2009-11-04T19:40:06Z

Freud has come up many times in conversations over the past few days. While I will say he was (obviously) spot-on when it came to some of his theories, he is probably my least favourite psychoanalyst.

I do not like Freud.

Strength in Tumblrs.

2009-11-02T06:41:30Z

All I do on a normal basis is go to class, read, watch Hulu, and play on the interwebs. I don't do much adventuring these days. It's mostly me and my cat against the world, on a ship called the S.S. Mattress.
[Ultimately, I have been even more homely than usual lately and I think it's beginning to reflect through my blog entries.]

Though, through these day-to-day WWW excursions I have discovered many-a thing that peak my interest and I have this imminent drive to constantly share these vitally important tidbits with the world. I am not particularly fond of spamming my blog. And I think Rick is getting somewhat tired of me randomly calling him saying, "Listen to what I read on the internet today!"

All of this was basically to say, I have decided to expand my virtual horizons and start a tumblr.
I will still update this blog, no worries, Internet Community.

http://crulien.tumblr.com/

If you, also, are a tumblr-er, you should follow me. Apparently, Tumblarity is v. important.

Above that, on a What Happened in Caitlin's Life Today note:
I learned in my Human Growth and Development class that research on millionaires shows they typically went to community colleges or state universities.

Water Potter

2009-11-01T08:57:42Z

I was spooked while taking a shower tonight, after everyone else was in bed. Then I thought, "I bet Harry Potter was never afraid of Voldemort killing him in the shower," and felt a bit braver.

ITP make my decisions for me.

2009-10-31T20:42:28Z

In the next two weeks I must decide what I am going to be doing come January. I have four choices:

1. Spend another semester at FCCJ and graduate with my A.A.
-Continue my Presidency for the Invisible Children club. And become more involved in Phi Theta Kappa, Sudent Government/Ambassadors, etc.
-Transfer to UF/Belmont/somewhere else in the Fall.
-Go on another lengthy missions trip in the Summer/Fall.
-Pretty much just coping out of having to make any kind of real decision for another few months.

2. Transfer to UNF.
-Get my own place and succumb to (embrace) the fact that I'm staying in Jacksonville, at least, two more years.
-Continue my major in English and second major in either Philosophy or Religion.
-Change my major to Graphic Design.

3. Transfer to Belmont.
-Get out of Jacksonville, but take out a massive loan.
-Major in Music Business with an emphasis in Production at the only school in the world that provides that degree.
-Guaranteed an internship after my first year.
-Make new friendzz.

4. Transfer to another school or something.
-Western Carolina University (where I can live in my family's NC house free of rent)
-Flagler College (Bright Futures scholarship)
-New College of Florida (Bright Futures scholarship)
-Some other expensive school far, far away (i.e. Chicago)

The extent to which I've made any kind of progress is making up this list and drawing doodles around the edges of the paper. I am kind of against staying at FCCJ, but only because my pride doesn't like being at community college.

Oh and heck yeah Gators and Halloween.

well, well

2009-10-30T02:57:01Z

Can't Stop Partying- Weezer (feat. Lil Wayne)

That’s right, Weezy and Weezer. You are welcome.

Wine in soda cans.

2009-10-29T05:03:25Z

Having been glued to Seasons 1-4 and Hulu for the past few weeks, I am now entirely up-to-date with It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Gosh I love TV Thursdays.

I also ate free cheese pizza.

2009-10-28T17:20:52Z

During break I played volleyball on the Green and bruised my wrist pretty intensely.

Now I am in Stat class.

My life is exciting.

ETA: This morning, I was in desperate need of tape and Nick Bailey appeared out of nowhere and handed me a roll of it. It was magical.

Bold

2009-10-27T03:29:38Z

There are moments when I feel absolutely alone. Not a lonely sort of alone, but, rather, an independence intensified by aloneness. It reminds me of what I felt those first few months after getting my driver's license; when I suddenly had the freedom to pick up an go, on my own.

I felt that when I was walking to my car after leaving the Casbah this evening. The sky had just faded into darkness and the air was crisp. It felt nice.

I'm hoping that's how I'll regularly feel when [if] I move to Nashville. Or where ever it is I'm going in January.

Pretending this is tumblr.

2009-10-23T20:58:43Z

Impressive.

I am going out to purchase two black fedoras and that is all I am doing tonight.